Four Years

Posted: May 6, 2010 in Uncategorized

I’ve been stuck. I’ve been mired down and fixated on a point in time, 4 years ago. It crosses my mind many times a day, 4 years ago when the bottom dropped out of my professional “market”.  My plan, which I was so sure of, so confident that it would be executed, failed. Success ran out, the kind of success that has to do with career and meeting financial and professional goals. The ground I stood on turned to quicksand and though I didn’t drown, I’ve been unable to remove the 4-year-old grit from my being.

You never expect a catastrophe, it’s never part of your long-term plan. There is no deposit into your 401K that can offset the unwelcome and unexpected twists and turns of life. I know this seems vague but to be frank, it has to do will illness, the unforseen derailment of a long-term plan that relied on the foundation of a 10 year career that was in full swing.

Taken out in my prime, stress overtaking my physical ability to keep on keepin’ on. Medical advice heeded, it was over. Period. Within months my husband had his turn. Swift and devastating , his illness, with a long recovery period. Four years of feeling like I really got ripped off. Four years of dreams that I just refuse to let go of.  The plan, the timely and appropriate retirement, the thought of a long and gratifying career easing gracefully into the “good life” failed miserably.

Slowly, I’m waking up from this 4 year slumber.  Bad things happen, but in the midst of the bad things there are good things. More important things than professional success. Things like being a full-time mother. Things like being home to make a snack for a hungry son. Those things have kept me from being devoured by thoughts of failure.  I rang the brass bell and reached the peak of my professional success.

It is now time to ring a new bell, a bell that will ring in a new era.  An era of personal success, that starts now. No more looking back on what was or what could have been. That’s all old news, 4 year old news. I’m ready for a new headline. With today’s date, with today’s life, with today’s me.

May 06, 2010

Coventry CT

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Comments
  1. Dani H says:

    I promise you, dearest friend, at the end of your life it will be the time spent with family that will matter to you. NO professional success can compare. That’s not to say that it’s not important, but it’s not {imho} what makes for a successful life. I was a workaholic until physical and emotional problems took over my life, too. I’m thrilled for you to be starting a new journey, bunny. I’ll be here *shaking my pom poms* for you and ever ready to hold your hand if you want company. The “today you” is FABulous!!! *much love**big squishy hugs* <3<3<3

    • joannefirth says:

      Your words are very true, you most certainly understand. Those I miss the excitement of my “old” professional life, the nurturing part of me has evolved over the past few years. Not a bad trade off. Thank you so much. Love you. ❤

  2. You are one brave, beautiful woman. I teared up reading this. Sadly, our professional and economic goals and status define us over other achievements.

    I applaud that you are on your feet, after four years and ready to start anew. I can so relate to this and thank you for sharing this. It inspires me.

    Love you, Sis.

    • joannefirth says:

      Thank you so much Marsha. I was so into the moving and shaking of it all that I missed out of some of my kids’s milestones along the way. There most certainly is a trade off. The important thing is to be happy and fulfilled with whichever path your on. I’m working on that part. 😉 Much love to you. ❤

  3. Caroline says:

    I love you Twitter sister! I may live far away physically but I’m right there with you in many ways that count. When you need a net a hug or a ‘hell ya!’. Today is a hell ya!!!!! xo (and a hug) :o)

  4. Gabrielle says:

    You are braving a new world. : )

  5. Linda says:

    AMEN AMEN AMEN as you start your new beginning!!!! I love you sis and pray for your deepest desires to be met!

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