From Here

Posted: July 4, 2010 in Uncategorized

Where do I go from here?

Knowing what I know

Living what I’ve  lived

Keeping the past at bay

The past that corrupted my innocence

And rocked my trust

********

Where do I go from here?

It takes so long

Its  broken my stride

Its made me fragile

Pressure

Layer upon layer

Like coal

Finally giving in and becoming a diamond

*********

Where do I go from here?

Feet treading carefully

Eyes  ever cautious

A doe in the headlights

Arms needing something, someone to hold or hold on to

When is it too late?

To still think you’re in the game

The game of life

***********

Where do I go from here?

From this place I sit

Quietly contesting the consequences

There are many

Coal has it easy

It has a destiny

For coal, pressure and time meet  its needs

A remarkable transformation results

**********

Where do I go from here?

I have no idea

I’ll take my chances

I’ll let the pressure mold me

I’ll let my own arms hold me

I’ll keep playing

I’ll keep trying

For if a lump of coal can do it

So can I

July 4, 2010

Coventry CT

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Comments
  1. Linda says:

    Sending you a big hug from El Salvador Sis!! Miss you so much!! Love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. judy says:

    I love this.

    • joannefirth says:

      J, thank you so much. As I told Becky, the words that come out of me are a culmination of what is getting put in. Your words, such as http://zebrasounds.net/2010/07/03/it-hurts-when-i-do-this/ settle in and kind of like stew or soup, meld together in my quirky mind. The words get stirred up and sometimes I write them down. Also, as I told Becky, thank you for the inspiration.

      I am quite taken aback that the few words I put together last night and almost trashed before I hit “publish” would be recieved so graciously. I thank you for your visit, your time and your comment. xoxo

  3. Joanne Schiffbauer says:

    Sadly, the world is full of the “Walking Wounded!” You speak
    for and to many of these “souls!”

    I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. I’ve seen your
    “Mother Lioness” side and, it is POWERFUL and, so are you!

  4. Caroline says:

    Lovely. If you figure it out let me know ok? I’ve spent quite a bit of my life building and reinforcing a wall to keep myself safe after being damaged. Turns out that really doesn’t do anything except keep me damaged. Go figure. Meeting amazing people like you, reading your work, contemplating the big questions – have all been so helpful for me. Thank you Joanne! xo

    • joannefirth says:

      Oh Caroline, I’m so sorry for your damage and wish I could wipe all tears and take all the pain away. I’m learning, slowly that listing each and every sad and painful thing that’s ever happend can be pointless.

      I’m learning to just lump it all together, put in a big pile and jump over it. Sometimes I will get snagged and a particular moment in time will start to pull me back, that’s when all of the resources from within me, that survival mechanism we all have, kicks in and I can literally just fly over that pile of damage.

      Letting go, for real, has helped heal me and continues to help because the big stuff keeps on commin’….and I just keep on jumpin’.

      Lots of love to you, my sweet. ❤

  5. Joanne Schiffbauer says:

    A truly lovely poem, written by a truly lovely lady!
    Joanne, I really don’t call many women “ladies” but, you are
    a “lady!”…and I thought we were extinct!!
    Brunch101

    • joannefirth says:

      Ah, Joanne. I don’t know how to thank you for the endless amount of support you have generously offered me. This is in reply to both of your comments. You nailed it about me speaking for the “walking wounded” . My words are not just about myself but the courage I’ve seen from some of the most broken individuals on earth. Some day, when I get real brave, the stories will come. With your encouragement it may be sooner than later.

      And, the “lady” part. Yes, you most certainly are. I, another “lady” , you are most kind and maybe I really am except when that powerful lioness comes roaring out, appropriately so and only in the most ladylike fashion. 😉

  6. Becky says:

    This is really nice Joanne.
    Thank you for giving it to us.

  7. Dani H says:

    I know you can do it, bunny! This is absolutely beautiful! Your writing is amazing, Joanne. I understand trying to find your way back after becoming that fragile. I have to believe it’s possible.

    “Like coal

    Finally giving in and becoming a diamond”

    I love that. I love you. *big squishy hugs* ❤

    • joannefirth says:

      Dani, thank you so much! I can’t believe you quoted my very favorite part! Not much of this made sense to me as I was just thinking and putting some words down. I don’t know why I even thought of coal….something so plain and common has the potential to become a rare jem. Thanks for your visit and comment. Big squishy bear hug back.

  8. Diana605 says:

    This is amazing…..a wonderful allegory

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