Love and Taxes

Posted: April 15, 2011 in Uncategorized

It’s April 15th and I’m not worried about taxes. My dear friend and friend of my family for decades does my taxes each year. Because of our little rental property and all the accompanying financial details of having one, I visit her every year. She is a wiz, we chat most of the time during our tax get together about our health, our family and our dreams. Over the years, she has looked after my family financially, taking good care to admonish me from time to time as my net worth slowly diminishes from April 15th to April 15th. She is a wealthy person, wise and frugal. It pains her to see how I look  in black and white on the income tax forms. I tell her, “I know” and smile, knowing I am never going to obtain anywhere near her vast fortune. We are still friends despite our opposite spending and saving habits. She cares enough to generously offer her time to the sinking ship that is my legacy.

We share breast cancer as our common disease. She chose to have her surgery and not move into conventional treatment. This frightens me and there is nothing I can do about it. Her breast cancer spread heavily to her lymph nodes. She had them removed and denied any further treatment except monitoring her diet. She believes that the cancer can grow in an acid environment and maintains as acid free of a diet as she can. That is her treatment and she is happy with it.

I called her the other day and let her know that I would not be able to file by April 15th and needed an extension. I’ve done this several times in the past, as for some odd reason I am always under the weather this time of year. We discussed finances briefly and she will take care of letting the IRS know that they won’t be hearing from me until I’m ready. I told her that I wasn’t feeling very well and had been through chemo. I could see her disappointment in my mind. Her tone of voice changed and she was not pleased that I chose this route. When I got diagnosed, I called her to tell her. Those calls are never easy to make. She is a tough person with a pure heart. She is a no-nonsense person who calls it as she sees it because she has done her homework. My first post breast cancer call to her was a lengthy one. She urged me to consider her method of treatment. Seriously urged me. She made recommendations and went into specifics about acid and alkaline and how cancer responds to them. As someone I respect highly, I listened, knowing I had already decided to take the standard approach to achieve the most optimum result, having the cancer be gone.

When you love someone, you don’t want to insult or offend them. At times opinions vary. Strong opinions. Life or death opinions. Our phone call ended with good wishes and love. I thought a great deal about what she had to say about her cancer treatment and became confused and scared. The confusion had to do with whether or not her way was the right way. The fear had to do with the fact that if it is not the right way then someone I love dearly is not going to make it. She is stubborn and headstrong. That is how she made a success of herself. She got exactly what she has wanted in life on her terms. She has built up something of tremendous value, never for a moment giving in to other people’s terms. That’s what I admire so much. Her tenacity and will to play any game and come out the winner. Except for breast cancer. I’m afraid she is playing with fire and will get burned. I’m afraid that her choice to push science and medical research aside will cut her life short.

When my friend tells me to do something, I do it, and over the years, her advice has kept my financial head out of water, barely. I admire her so much, that it has always been my wish to emulate her. Her experience and knowledge about money, taxes and real estate makes me green with envy. One hundred-dollar bill green. She and I have made different choices in life. She chose and did amass a great fortune and I chose to be careless and fairly irresponsible with money.  She chose to treat her breast cancer with diet and I chose to embrace science and all the medicine available. She chose to accept my choices and I chose to accept hers. Both of us stricken. Both of us hoping our method works. Both of us remaining friends despite our differences because we care for and love each other.

I will probably stretch out the extension on filing my taxes until October. By then I should be in good heath, through treatment and back on track with life. I look forward to our annual visits. It’s always a treat to spend time together in her basement office, after hours. We talk health, family, and dreams. We hug and laugh and part ways until it’s that time again. I would be lost without her expertise each year to help me keep the IRS happy with my meager sums. She’s an important person in my life and has been for a long time. I hope that she and I will remain friends for many years to come. I hope that each of us made the right decision in our breast cancer recovery. Only time will tell.

As Mr. Ben Franklin said….sort of , “Certainly? In this world nothing is certain but LOVE and taxes”.

April 15, 2011

Coventry CT

  1. dani says:

    i love you. that is all. ♥♥♥

  2. j says:

    Wow! I wasn’t expecting this when I popped over to read your tax story. I love how honest your posts are, Joanne, how much you open up when I know that isn’t easy for you. Rest assured, the only thing visible from here is your stunningly beautiful soul. (And you and your tax consultant are tremendously lucky to have each other. I’m envious, in a good way.)

    • Thank you j. You are so gracious to pop over, as we posted at almost the exact same time last night. It’s not easy to open up for everyone to read and know my feelings. I just want you to know, that my words and the generous comments have made a tremendous impact on me moving forward. I was really stuck. I reached out and let myself be vulnerable because I didn’t know what else to do. When I write about cancer and my feeling and struggles, I actually use every word that comes back to me. That’s how important you and everyone are to me. I am moving on now. I made an appointment and I don’t think I would have if not for the support. Thank you!! and p.s. I love you!

  3. Deirdre says:

    J, I agree with you and I would embrace both approaches – the latest science AND avoiding an acidic diet as that basically boils down to eating totally healthy and opposite of today’s so unhealthy western diet … lots of fresh vegetables and fruits and no added sugar, refined and junk foods, carbonated drinks, etc. As for the taxes … embrace your friend 🙂

    • Great advice Dee. I do respect the fact that diet does play a roll in fighting cancer. I will heed yours and my friends advice. I want the best tools I can have to be cancer free. Hugs back to you. ❤

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