It’s Time

Posted: May 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

Sometimes it is easier to pretend that it’s okay rather than being truthful. The truth hurts. For now, even if the only way I can be free is by putting it into words, then so be it. It’s time to take my heart and move away from the source of all its damage. I deserve love and to be loved.  I deserve help when I ask for help and all the people in my real world who have turned their backs to me during the hardest times, I have nothing left for you. Your help could have made a difference. The truth.

It’s time for my heart to move on

Move away

From broken promises

From broken love

From a broken back

*****

It’s time for the pain to ease

To be free

To have the burden lifted

To stop making deals

Pretending that it’s okay

When it’s not okay at all

*****

It’s time to put you out

Of your comfort zone

Where it’s easy to come and go

And run

And avoid

And neglect

*****

It’s time to refuse excuses

And procrastination

And worse

A threadbare sheet can not be mended

The tread tangles

And makes a mess

******

It’s time for my heart

To be unavailable

For compromise

And forgiveness

It all blows up

And the victim in me has had enough

For a lifetime

******

It’s time for you to go

Be gone

Take with you

You misery

You apathy

Your cruelty

Leave me alone

******

It’s time for me to admit

That without him

I

will

be

happy

again

*****

May 30, 2012

Coventry CT

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Comments
  1. dani says:

    if i could grant your wishes, i would
    if i could make it all better, i would
    if i could heal your pain, i would

    all i can do is let you know
    you are wonderful and special and amazing
    and i love you

  2. giant hugs and healing waves to you as you let go, focus in and come to terms
    with what you need , want and deserve
    xoxo

  3. Thank you all. I’m already mending from today’s hopelessness. I can barely see through the tears to type this. Most of the time, I have nowhere to turn, so everything gets held in until eventually I have to stop and let some of it out. There is so much behind this poem. So much, that some days I can’t believe that this is my life. But it is mine and I can’t live it alone. I reached out today and there you all were. Real friends. xo

  4. I second Becky’s words: we all definitely deserve love, especially you.

  5. terrepruitt says:

    Hmmm. So many questions . . . . so many answers . . . . .

    So glad that you have decided that you are worth it. It is difficult for people who love you to know that you are worth it and see that you don’t know that you are.

    Whatever this writing means, exactly . . . . I hold space for you, for your pain, for your courage, for your sadness, for your strength, for your lost love, for the love that is yet to be found . . . . for all of it . . . . I hold space.

    Oh, and I have hugs for you too!

    • Thank you Terre. My clock is ticking and all I want is for my needs to be met. If that is not possible, I can meet my own and be content and loved. xo

    • I wish I could answer all of your questions. What happens with me is that I think too much and hang on to the wrong things. So when there is a trigger, everything comes back as if it is happening right now. I hold it all in until the dam breaks. It broke today, but it is already being repaired. Thanks to friends who understand that it is difficult to always share the good stuff only. My friends, when I reach out like I did today are crucial to my survival. Just to know there are people out there who can accept me at face value and still want to be my friend. You are so wise Terre and always give good, solid advice. I thank you for that. You made a difference in how I feel about myself today. You and the other kind people who came here and read and commented. Much love to you.

  6. Becky Sain says:

    We all deserve love and happiness… especially you mamalove.

  7. OpinionsToGo says:

    You have always been a nurturer and, now it’s time for you to be nurtured.
    Your poem speaks volumes!

  8. I read this with tears. Joanne you are so beautiful and so special. I agree with Judy; You deserve to be loved. You deserve validation and happiness. The strength you show in writing this piece reflects just how much you feel you are worth and just how much you can ask for. It also bespeaks your need to live more authentically and freely express your feelings.Thanks for sharing this.

  9. j says:

    You do deserve happiness and love, my friend. I’m proud of you for writing this. xo

  10. (((hugs))) you are beautiful and strong, Joanne, and you will be happy again.

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